look here to find Quick Tips to help you out.
*******
Start at the Foundation (from the Holiday, 2008 Newsletter)
Stress happens. It happens during our everyday lives and sometimes more so when interacting with our fellow human beings.
Haven't we all pondered whether at least some part of our relationships with friends, family, work colleagues or significant other could go a little smoother? Haven't we all thought that work would be so much better if that one person just cleaned up their act?
- Insert Stressful Situation Here with one of the following: work colleague, family member, spouse or significant other, etc.
- When you notice the tension mounting with that particular person, where's your attention? What is the thought process based around?
- On what that person has done wrong?
- On how right you really are, if only they could see that?
- On that person's shortcomings?
- Stop (engage your practice if you have one) and begin by choosing at least five things you appreciate about that person. These things need not be monumental. They can range anywhere from liking their hairstyle to appreciating something about their personality. Just pick something.
- Does that change the energy of the situation?
- Now, here's the BIG step: At some point, tell that person what you appreciate them about them.
- Repeat these steps any time, whether the situation is sticky or not.
Life is at it's most vibrant when we choose to put down our history, decide to suspend judgment and resolve to approach something from a fresh perspective. Engaging in this simple exercise allows you to do just this, allowing for a much greater experience of that person, yourself and life to come through.
Who wouldn't want a little more of that?
Pull the mental hand-brake (from the October-November, 2008 Update)
Job stressing you out? Family really trying your nerves? Would you like to take a holiday to get away from the stresses of your daily life? Well, we’re not offering an all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii, but we can present you with a mental holiday of sorts.
In those moments of daily life that raise the red flag of stress to full mast, the first reaction is to power through whatever situation and deal with the stress later, if ever.
However, if you’re like 99.9% of the rest of the world, attention for yourself tends to get put on the back burner and the stress just piles up like dirty laundry.
In light of this, the best thing you could possibly do is to simply stop, right then and there when the anxiety is occurring - if you can actually physically stop is very helpful, but if your space doesn’t allow for it (like, if you’re on the freeway) pull the mental hand-brake to help you slow down.
What we’re suggesting you do is simply stop, take a moment to breathe, and notice where in your body the feeling of stress is located. Is the tension in your heart? In your chest? Around your abdomen?
Once you’ve noticed where the tension is, just gently keep a little bit of your attention there for a minute or so (engage your practice if you have one) and notice what happens for you. You may find that the sense of urgency or anxiety lessens or disappears altogether.
Magic? Not really. This happens because you have simply redirected your attention, gently, and are no longer resisting the situation.
As you’ve most likely experienced, most stress is seriously compounded by the total resistance we engage in when something arises we dislike - so the key is not to resist.
If you do this, you won’t become a passive bench warmer in life - you’ll still be theproblem-solving, go-getter you are. However, by taking 30 seconds out for yourself you’ve just given yourself some much needed space from and a different perspective of the problem, allowing for even more clarity to come through.
So whenever that red flag is flying try this trick and see what changes happen for you.